His harsh words, said angrily, reminded me of what my family had warned me about that Marina had no respect for me. So, she was aware that she was behaving badly, that she was insulting me, that she was exploiting me, but that didn't affect her at all, but it seemed natural to her since she never loved me. I was looking at the woman of my dreams, who was looking at me full of anger, although she had no reason to do so, and I could not believe how blind, how stupid I was. What could I have done? The facts were consumed, and the present was extremely painful.
"And yet, why did you marry me, Marina?" I asked, feeling my blood rushing to my head. If you didn't love me, why did you confuse me, why did you turn my life upside down? Why? Why? Why? "I do not know why! Because I was stupid! I said that you are a good man, that I make a house with you, and maybe love will appear! But... he didn't show up! she tried to play the victim's card. Not to mention the fact that I had a baby with you.
"How can you talk like that?" I expressed my indignation, in one of the rare moments when I dared to support my point of view. What kind of woman are you? Any woman who gives birth to a child is blessed, and you complain.
"Man, do you realize how much Michael will suffer after we break up? she then thrust the dagger deep into the open wound of her soul. You just know how sensitive he is and how much he loves us both.
"Okay, but no one ever mentioned a breakup!" What's wrong with you, Marina? I was horrified by the idea of separation. It's true, for a while we have had different opinions, we push each other, we argue. But that doesn't mean we have to break up. Michael would be devastated!
"I know, I just told you that, Daniel!" But what if I don't love you and I'm unhappy? Should I stay with you just for the baby? he asked, looking at me with hatred. We are young, we are only 31 years old. Why waste our youth when we can rebuild our lives?
"You really don't think about Michael? I insisted, trying to open her eyes and bring her to reality. Marina, I'm doing anything, just stay with us! Please do not leave us!
This was the discussion that would turn my life upside down. From that day I became a martyr, without exaggeration! So that my wife does not divorce and leave with the child, as she threatened me, I promised her that I would not leave her, but I would do exactly what she decides. So, I made a criminal deal, from my point of view, but as advantageous as possible for Marina.
In short, from that moment on, she would no longer have any duties to me, no more chores in the house, and do whatever she wanted. I was going to take care of everything that means housekeeping, paying the bills and educating our child, her only role is to ensure peace of mind and emotional comfort to Michael by being home at night and on weekends. As for intimate relations, which is absolutely normal and natural in a married couple, my wife decreed that she would no longer fulfil her conjugal duty.
"I don't want to sleep with you anymore, Daniel!" he slammed her in front of me. Why would I do it, since I don't want you? If it suits you, well, if not, then I divorce and the judge will decide who the child stays with.
"No, you don't need a divorce, Marina! I accepted without hesitation the frustrating decision. Don't worry, I'll leave you alone, I won't try to convince you to make love if you don't want to. I just told you clearly that I'm doing everything not to leave, but to stay with us."
And, of course, I did! For the next 6 years, that is, until today, I obeyed her will like a slave. Obviously, with Michael, he keeps up appearances and treats me naturally.
But when the boy is not present, Marina treats me like a rag, draws my tasks and gives me clear instructions: what shopping to do, what to cook, when to wash, when to clean, what clothes to dress the child and so on. And during this time the stench does not move a straw, and he is never interested in Mihai's lessons either; she knows that I am a responsible father and I make sure that he never goes to school with unfinished homework.
When they heard what was going on, what a nightmare my life had become, my parents and brother were outraged and angry.
Daniel, I told you Marina has no character! my mother and father apostrophe me, in unison, every time they have the opportunity. What woman exploits her husband and is not involved in raising her own child?
"My brother, I really don't know what else to say! How could you stay without touching a woman for so many years when you have a wife at home? Robert sincerely pities me. Tell me, are you still resisting? Can you still endure?" my brother asks me angrily.
I have nothing to do but shut up and look away. What answer could I give them? After all, I did it with my own hand. I aspired to marry the first woman I fell in love with, despite family warnings, and now I bear the consequences. I can't do otherwise, because Michael is my soul and I don't want him to suffer. And for that, Marina has to stay with us.
Maybe if my mother hadn't held me so tightly around her skirt and raised me like a normal young man, I wouldn't have been enchanted by a selfish, lazy, cruel woman.
Now, however, regrets are late. I will carry my cross to the end, the satisfaction that my little boy is healthy, beautiful and intelligent, compensating for all the frustrations accumulated in the last six years in a dead marriage.
Recently, on the day I turned 37, I drank a few glasses of red wine and took courage.
"Please! I don't want another birthday present, Marina! Do we make love for at least a quarter of an hour?" I dared to ask my wife then.
"Have you thought long and hard, Daniel?" she snapped at me. If you ever mention that again, I'm going to divorce you instantly!
I wish just so badly to go on vacation. I imagine myself being in Dubai under the hot sun with a cocktail in my hand and with a curvy blonde next to me but...
I'm just Daniel, an abstinent man, mocked, completely depersonalized. God, have mercy on my soul!
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