I considered myself a mature man, able to control his feelings, so I couldn't understand why the suffering caused by the separation from my last girlfriend was prolonged, even though more than six months had passed since Isabela had told me she was leaving.
"I'm leaving Madrid, Carlos!" I'm leaving and it's good to know that from now on so you don't tell me it was a surprise to you.
Her statement took me by surprise, although she had been telling me since she knew that she was going to return to Seville. Madrid seemed too noisy, too demanding.
"Although I've been here for so long, I haven't been able to adjust to this lifestyle. I don't like it", she said.
I had imagined that there was a long distance from word to deed. After all, whether she liked it or not, Isabela had been living in Madrid for six years. He had come after graduating from college and had managed to build a satisfying situation here.
She had a good job, she had bought an apartment, she also had a car, so her words seemed exaggerated to me. It is true, Madrid, like any big city, has many disadvantages, but also real advantages. The things she couldn't stand didn't seem so important to me and were more of a mental nature, they were about how certain problems, certain tensions, were reflected in her consciousness.
"My dear, you should approach things differently." Put a barrier between you and what bothers you. I'm not saying you become insensitive, I don't think you are capable of such performance, but a layer of insensitivity between you and the aggressiveness of the environment in which you live can only have beneficial consequences.
"Stories," she would reply. What's the point of changing me - especially since you're talking to me here about a change for the worse, when I can, much easier, change my place?
"You offend me! I belong to this place. If you're telling me, you're not good here, it's mostly my fault. Didn't I manage to get you to break away from daytime problems through my nocturnal behaviour?"
Such a question made her laugh, no matter how serious or upset she was.
"My dear, your nightly performance seems to me the only good thing."
"You flatter me, but that's not the issue." It seems to me that you have accomplished quite a lot in the few years you have spent here. Do you think that you would have achieved just as much if you had stayed in Seville, where you finished college, or if you had returned to yours, to Almeria?
Why not? Maybe I would have succeeded, if you don't refer to the strictly material chapter. I don't know if I would have had such a good job. It might have been lower paid than here, but it would have been enough for the province. In terms of peace and contentment, it would have been ten times better, not a hundred, a thousand times better! This big city gives me the impression of depersonalization, among so many people, you become a shadow of what you are, an ordinary ant, a nobody.
I had nothing to answer. I was born here and I'm used to everything. I am bored by any stay that keeps me more than two or three weeks away from the hustle and bustle, the tumult, the trepidation of the city. But I brought him the only argument I could muster.
"After all, you have me. Me and you, this is the environment that matters. We can get married, in two or three years we can build a house outside the city."
"Yes, it's like home is all that matters! I have relative peace here too, in the apartment where I live. But what good is it if I'm in agitation all the day long?"
"You also have friends in Madrid", I continued the weak line of arguments.
"Just a real friend, Abrienda. The other is my sister, but I can't call her a friend, because she’s my sister. Otherwise, conjuncture friend. And my sister had better stay home, to be at least one of us closer to our parents. She got stained to come after me in Madrid!"
"But she didn't come after you. She came for her husband."
"Yes, you're right, she has a family. I wasn't even able to do that until now and I have almost thirty."
"I told you before, I'm at your disposal."
"There's no point now." I have no idea what I'm going to do. Why confuse you? Maybe you can find a better girl, happier with her life.
The problem of marriage had known many periods of alternation, since we were together. There were moments, like the one I'm telling you about, when I kept telling them that it would be good to formalize our connection. At my insistence, Carmen began to avoid the subject. There were other times when, on the contrary, she was bothering me to get married.
Even though we hadn't been to church in a way, we were engaged. We had also received the blessing of her parents, absolutely exceptional people, and that of my parents, tired of knowing her boy past thirty years old still bachelor.
stay tuned for part 2!