Until recently, my marriage was a nightmare and I was even determined to divorce. My wife, Melania, had become a spendthrift and indolent woman, and, moreover, she was horrible to me. I quickly found a strategy that worked perfectly: I applied reverse psychology...
"You don't know what you had until you lost!" says a word of the people. And sometimes that's exactly what happens: you need to lose something in order to appreciate what you had at its true value. In my case, it was not something, but someone, namely my wife that, to have dreamed that I lost, falling into an abyss, I could not stand, but lived together for children. And, even if I only lost it in a dream, when I woke up from the nightmare everything changed: I imagined what my life and the lives of the little ones would be like without Melania, and therefore I returned to more feelings. best, and in turn, she revised her attitude. Now we love each other like in the beginning.
Hello! I am Costa, I'm living in Dubai and I am sending you this letter in order to remind couples who are experiencing marital problems that such periods of hardship are inherent and at the same time to encourage them not to give up everything they have built with care and sacrifice. For this, I will present the example of my marriage, which had reached the edge of the abyss, but which, by a miracle, survived. This miracle was a revelatory dream, at the same time the darkest nightmare I have ever had."
I had that dream about three months ago, on a night when I went to bed, as usual at that time, alone, frustrated and angry. My wife and I had had one of the verbal disputes that were the order of the day. The reason, one and the same: she blamed me for making too many ... reproaches. Which, frankly, was the case, but it was all right! For the past two years, since our marriage had squeaked like a shabby chariot in the alley, Melania had pulled out my white hair, literally and figuratively.
However, I was not even allowed to express my dissatisfaction with her incorrect and unnatural behaviour, because there was gasoline on the fire.
"Costa, stop taking anything away from me because you're getting away from my soul with every rebuke! she shouted at me during a scandal. You act like a tyrant."
"Okay, Melania, but you're spending a lot of money on small things that are of no use to us! I argued. Even if you pretend to be bargains, they are still useless.
"Should I remember you that we have a loan in the bank and unpaid bills of utilities?"
"Leave me alone, Costa! I can't stand arguing anymore! she had the last word, as usual. I can't believe how I managed to stay with you for ten years!"
As I said, these games had become the order of the day and back two years to the annoyance of the two children, ages 4 and, respectively, six years began to realize that something is wrong with their parents. But how could I make them understand that their mother had gradually changed, after the two births, and become a lazy woman, who did not move a straw at the door of the house and left me in charge with everything related to housekeeping and household?
"Costa, are you annoying me with your absurd pretensions?" he surprised me on another occasion. You really do not understand I do not want to clean the dust and to wash the dishes?
"Okay, but it's your house too, Melania! I remembered him. How selfish can you be? Does it seem normal to me to run like a chicken while you read or watch TV?"
"Well, will not lose your rank, Costa!" she ended the conversation, leaving me full of anger. Other men pamper their wives and do everything at home: wash, iron, cook ... You should do grateful that I’m still cooking!
My wife's behaviour had become unbearable, but for the sake of the children, who adore their mother, I endured the humiliation and accepted the suffering caused by the fact that, on the background of quarrels and colds, two years of abstinence had been fulfilled. Is that so! The enmity with which, apparently, I treated her, made Melania refuse to sleep with me, a situation in which, obviously, my frustration increased from day today.
"Costa, stop assaulting me!" she set me up once when I had a fierce libido and I tried to seduce her by stroking her breasts. "You won't get anything from me!"
"Okay, Melania, but don't you see I'm exploding from desire?" I made an immediate plea in favour of my need for release. I haven't done it in two years! I haven't done it in two years!"
"Your problem! Go and take a cold shower and you will see that it passes!" she sneered, with no empathy for my natural needs. "Are you behaving like a tyrant to me, and should I fulfil my conjugal duty?"
Yeah. Unfortunately, these were the three painful reasons for my dissatisfaction with Melania's attitude: she wasted serious money on all sorts of nonsense, it does not contribute at all to household chores, and she refused to have intimate relations. In consequence, no wonder my glass of patience and tolerance was full and made me think about divorce. On the other hand, the idea of the two children growing up without both parents terrified and paralyzed me, so I gritted my teeth and I swallowed a witch's misery for two years.
I now come to the moment of the revealing dream I had about three months ago.
In short, during that horrible nightmare, Melania slipped into an abyss, under the desperate eyes of me and the children. I woke up scared, sweating, and by dawn, I never closed an eye, but I imagined what life would be like without my wife, despite his behavioural defects. And then, it happened a real earthquake in my soul; then the change took place! Indeed, I felt a huge sadness caused by the reproaches I always made to her, and I decided to put an end to them, especially since I was not solving anything with them anyway, but Melania was taking revenge and tormenting me more habitually.
Thus, in the following weeks, although she bought some unnecessary nonsense (including a convoy of Bohemian crystal elephants, very expensive), although she did nothing for the house and did not let herself be loved, I did not argue with Melania. I let her do what she wanted, I did not generate any scandal, but I discussed calm only administrative issues. I noticed her amazement at my pacifist and tolerant attitude, which encouraged me to continue. I was enthusiastic about the convoy of elephants, I was enthusiastic about the convoy of elephants, I did general cleaning without asking her to help me and I did not put erotic pressure on her, the result being that, after a long time, I caught my wife smiling.
"Costa, what's wrong with you? Are you ok?" she asked me one evening when she was in a playful mood. It's like it's not you. You haven't blamed me for a long time!"
"Well, if I didn't have any reasons! I bluffed. You are an adorable wife, Melania!"
"Did you have a drink, Costa?"
"No, but if you want, we can have a drink together. What do you say?"
What followed was magical! After a few glasses of brandy, I made love with my wife, and this was on her own initiative! And the next day I did it again! And after a few days, coming from work, I found Melania dusting."
"Don't you show me what a bargain you got, Melania?" I was interested in her passion.
"I have nothing! I didn't buy anything today! I don't have to take anything every day!" she amazed me once more.
"Well, leave it, tomorrow is another day!" I encouraged her, refraining from smiling. I am convinced that you will find something beautiful that will make your soul happy.
That was about my story. For three months, Melania and I have rediscovered indulgence, respect, altruism. And most importantly, I rediscovered love. I hope that those families who are experiencing marital problems will remember that such periods of hardship are inherent and will not give up everything they have built with care and sacrifice. Remember: forgetting costs!