Nowadays, being a virgin is no longer something to be proud of, but on the contrary, this "quality" makes all men run away from you. I am already desperate, because I have reached an age where my virginity is rising to many question marks.
I think it's from high school. When I was in the eleventh grade, I loved Teddy, a classmate in the twelfth grade. I would write their names on the notebook during class, or I would look out the window, imagining that we were wandering the streets together, holding hands, then we would stop at a corner of a house and kiss each other. Only Teddy didn't seem to pay much attention to me, although I tried to talk to him whenever we met. He seems to have understood how I was feeling, because one day he stopped in front of me and asked me directly:
Rihanna, good thing you got in my way! Here's what I want to tell you: a friend's parents are going to Dubai for a week and the man is having a party tomorrow night. What do you say you come with me? He had eyes that pierced you, mesmerized you, there was no way you could resist them. Out of emotion, I couldn't even answer, I drowned. Not to sound ridiculous, I pretended to cough. Then I cleared my throat and told him I agreed . I've changed dozens of times. and in the end, I chose to dress in jeans and a tight blouse, which highlighted my bust. I put on my make-up discreetly, because I didn't need to accentuate the natural peonies on my cheeks at the age of seventeen.
At the appointed time, I went down in front of the block. But Teddy was almost half an hour late. Just as I seemed to be waiting for him in vain, I saw him.
"Sorry, but something intervened and I was about to not be able to come!"
He didn't seem too affected by the fact that he was late, he looked like I had to feel guilty for coming later.
"Come on!" he said briefly and took my hand. You look good, he said after giving me a quick glance. "To tell you the truth, I was a bit nervous. I was afraid you would come dressed like at the wedding, but I see you have taste."
"You mean you were afraid that you will be embarrassed with me?" I asked him with a smile, but I actually wanted to cry.
I didn't understand Teddy’s behaviour. After he was late for the meeting. He was complimenting me now in a way that could only offend me. He quickly realized that his words had upset me, so he stopped and put his hands on his hips.
" I don't know what to say but you girls are very strange! You always misinterpret our words! What's wrong with you?" His outraged tone urged me to reconcile.
"You're right, I spoke without thinking. If you were ashamed of me, you wouldn't have invited me, would you?"
"Well, do you see that you're a smart girl?" he also answered me with a question, after which he began to laugh . In the end, we arrived at the party. I disliked the atmosphere from the first moments. There was a lot of smoke, but the atmosphere was dark. The guests had gathered, in pairs, through the corners and corners. The floor was full of empty bottles; to the rhythm of lascivious music, about two or three girls swayed lazily. No partners. They must have been drinking a lot. I shook Teddy’s arm.
" What happens here? The atmosphere is strange", I whispered.
"Wait, darling, calm down! What, were you scared? This is a party! How would you like it to be? Like at the hospital? Let's Dance!""
I can't say that his words reassured me, but the fact that I was with him made me forget a little about what was around us. From the first dance, Teddy clung to me.
"Do you know you're beautiful?" he told me and I could feel his hand slipping under my blouse.
I gently removed his hand, a gesture that irritated him.
"Why are you avoiding? Do you think I want to rape you? I like you a lot, Rihanna. I feel the need to caress them... Don't you like it?"
"Yes," I whispered and gave in to his will, feeling guilty for my behaviour, which he certainly considered to be "wild"
In fact, I realized that I really liked it. Really much...
"Come here! Let's just sit together for a while"... he told me and pulled my hand to the next room.
I followed him, already dizzy with pleasure. It was a pretty neat bedroom, and the big bed sat in the middle of the room. He stretched out on him with deft, wavy movements, and, overwhelming me with kisses, he stretched out beside me. Then he started undressing me.
"No, Teddy, please!"
"It's good, Rihanna, don't be scared, nothing bad will happen. You'll see you'll like it... I'm sure of that."
The question was not whether I liked it or not, which blocked me was the situation: I did not want my first sexual experience to be spent on the run, in a foreign room, surrounded by drunken partygoers. I tried to resist, and that annoyed him.
"Stop pretending to be the Virgin Mary! We both know what we're here for, so let's feel good and not waste our time!" he hissed through my teeth, revealing my breasts. I burst into tears.
"But I'm a virgin..." I began to say through tears.
It's like pouring a bucket of cold water on his head. He suddenly jumped to his feet and looked at me ugly.
"What do you mean you're a virgin?" are you kidding me?!
I didn't answer. I was crying and shaking all over.
"As you whimpered, you don't seem to be lying to me." But what do you have, are you sick? Is that why no one “messed” with you? Anyway, I'm not getting in, I'm not going to torment you! I prefer to come after someone else's work. Look for me, sweetheart, when you decide to get rid of this trouble. Until then, goodbye, maybe you are busy and I'm holding you back!
He left the room and left me there, crying. After a few minutes, I tried to come to my senses so I could go home. Teddy returned, accompanied by a girl.
"What are you doing? Are you still here?" he asked me. "Didn't you take your mum and dad home to unlock your padlock? Come on, leave us alone, we're a bit busy!"
This was my first erotic experience. I suffered terribly for the way the boy I was in love with had treated me. We haven't even greeted each other since.
With time in my mind, the idea came to me that if I had not been a virgin, he would not have rejected me, he would not have laughed at me. This was also confirmed to me by a friend of mine, to whom I confessed, after a while, the trouble I had gone through.
Stay tuned for part 2!